This is something that I feel needs to be said because at this point it's just embarrassing to watch. I'll preface this rant with a few disclaimers: I don't like 50 Shades of Grey. I don't enjoy or partake in BDSM. I haven't seen or read 50 Shades of Grey. I know that 50 Shades of Grey is a stupid romance novel about a woman who meets a man who's dominant and into BDSM. She happens to be submissive so that works out. And while I'm at it, I'll go ahead and cut the head off of 90% of the rebuttals that might be made in response to this that could, perhaps in a drunken stupor, be perceived as anything close to relevant: I AM NOT HERE TO DEFEND ANYTHING WITHIN 50 SHADES OF GREY OUT OF ANY PERSONAL INTEREST IN THE BOOK/MOVIE.
Without further adieu:
50 Shades of Grey haters are sad and lonely. It's pathetic. It's stupid. It's petty and base. Nobody likes to have happiness and success flaunted in front of them or held above their heads but at this point, just writing about what makes you happy seems to trigger this natural aversion to other people's happiness.
They have to criticize the positive depiction of BDSM relationships because they're looking up at it from like 5 levels of happiness below. How else can you explain it? I will grant, just for like two or three seconds, that this book/movie is about abuse simply because I haven't yet gotten around to that point yet, but also to prove another point. Even if it is a depiction of an abusive relationship, that isn't what anyone cares about. It's not like anyone cares about artistic depictions of terrible things. It's not like anyone watches The Hunger Games and then says, "Boycott The Hunger Games because it depicts murdering children." It's not like anyone watches the show Dexter and says, "Boycott Dexter because it glorifies murder and vigilantism." NO! Nobody cares about that. This whole, "It's about abuse," campaign is a facade to mask the true problem that they have with the book/movie which is that it challenges their own ability as an individual to find a mate and reproduce and enjoy doing so. So it's understandable why a lot of people are on board with hating 50 Shades of Grey since there are so many sad, miserable, lonely, idiots with no idea how to identify, much less deal with, their own problems, shortcomings, fears, and insecurities due to rampant neglect of self-awareness but I digress.
It's not about abuse. You can't look at a happy relationship, a relationship in which both parties are content and enjoying themselves, and say that it's an abusive relationship simply because it doesn't adhere to the standards that you've established in your own relationships. Maybe if someone treated you that way it could be considered abuse because (this will be the real revelation for some people) IT'S NOT CONSENSUAL. In the case of 50 Shades of Grey, IT IS CONSENSUAL. If someone takes something from someone without asking but they had established that it was okay for that to happen, it isn't a case of theft, you slobbering halfwits! Sure, you might be upset if they took something from you without asking but this isn't your life. It's not you. Go away. Stop trying to apply your standards for acceptable interpersonal relations universally. I mean this is why physician assisted suicide should be legal. If two people agree that one of them will kill the other, the one who does the killing should not be charged with murder but I digress.
Laws about domestic violence were not established to protect people who get turned on by being slapped; they were established to protect people who don't like getting hit. Laws about murder were not established to protect people who want to be killed; they were established to protect people who are afraid of being killed. How arrogant do you have to be to say that a person in a particular type of relationship is not actually enjoying the relationship but is, in fact, being abused? What are you, the mother of the entire human race? Please, tell me about all of the things that I personally do that I'm not actually enjoying because of your crazy contrived worldview that everyone is literally you.
I seriously think that this particular issue makes me more upset than almost anything. It represents such a wide array of ignorance. And, I don't know, maybe I'm coming across as condescending here, but this all seems like super basic stuff but... like... come on, people! Can you not stand to run your brain for like 5 consecutive minutes?
Let the inevitable hate I will get for challenging the idea that consensual relationships are abusive ensue.
-Ben
